One reason is that some folks honestly don’t believe they are going to run into any problems. They believe that having a positive mental attitude and being an optimist means you are no longer a realist and that you are blind to the problems of the world. Therefore, they aren’t prepared emotionally, intellectually or physically for what inevitably lies ahead of them.

Scott Peck starts his book, “The Road Less Traveled,” with three very profound words: Life is difficult. This is not negative thinking. It is reality. It is also a warning: Be prepared!

How to be prepared

1) Accept that life is difficult.
There will always be weeds in your flower garden. That’s just how life is. You can’t change it and you don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it.

2) Identify in advance what the obstacles are.
Knowing the obstacles in advance and writing them down will lessen their effect on you and will help you keep them in the proper perspective. It will also allow you to attack them with more focus.

3) Get smarter.
Study what others have done to handle a similar situation. No matter what happens to you, there is a very good chance that it has happened to someone else. Find out who these people are. Find out if they have a book or a tape series that can help you get smarter about the problem and how to handle it. Find out if there is a support group that can educate you and support you during the experience.

Fear comes through ignorance. The more you know about something, the less you will fear it and the more prepared you will be to handle it and conquer it.

4) Write down your options.
And, there are ALWAYS options. You may say, “There’s just no other way . . .” Wrong. There is always another way. The thing to do is to brainstorm in order to come up with as many options as you possibly can. Then, carefully choose the best way for you at that time given the information you have available.

Time changes things. The problem will change and you will change. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to believe there is only one right answer. There are many. Get creative. Search out lots of answers and options. Write them down. Use them.

5) Become proactive.
Don’t sit back and wait for things to surround you and to attack. Take the offense. The best defense is a good offense. When you are reactive, then someone or something else is in control. When you are proactive, you are in control. This is a much more powerful position to operate from.

6) Get committed.
Commitment to your goal will help you make it as much as any other factor. Commitment is best explained with the story of George Washington crossing the Delaware. The troops were cold, most with frostbite; rations were low; they hadn’t seen their families in a very long time; and they hadn’t been paid as promised. However, before crossing the Delaware to fight the British, George Washington met with them and gave them a very simple order. The order was to cross the river, and then burn the boats.

Can you imagine their surprise? Burn the boats? I’ll just bet that many of them thought that in the thick of the battle they might slip down to the shore and get back in one of those boats and go home to get warm and get food and see their families. But George was way ahead of them. He told them to burn the boats. He removed all avenues of retreat. He took control of the options. In fact, they were left with only two options: they could win or they could die. With those as your only options, you get real committed to winning.

That’s the level of commitment you need when you attack life. You aren’t going to get out of life alive anyway, so become totally committed to winning. That level of commitment will change your attitude and your results.

These six principles will help you become more prepared for handling setbacks and tough situations. They will give you the courage to stay.

Refuse to quit

I just talked about options. Success comes from knowing your options, having lots of options, and choosing your options well. However, there is one option which must be eliminated. It is the option of quitting.

I recently heard Lou Holtz, former coach of Notre Dame, say, “Those who win in life are those who refuse to quit.”

I like that statement. It gives me courage when I’m tired and feeling my efforts are in vain. It encourages me to keep going no matter what happens until I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. However, sometimes the light at the end the tunnel is a train.

I promised to level with you. I agree with the statement, “Refuse to quit.” However, sometimes you have to quit. Confused yet?

I had to deal with this confusion in my own life when my telecommunications business was in so much trouble. One of the reasons that I held on so long to it even after everyone else had given up and I found myself fighting all alone, was the thought that if I filed bankruptcy to close the business, I was quitting. I remembered the words of Winston Churchill who said, “Never give up. Never, never give up.” So I vowed to hang on and make it work.

That was a mistake. I sought professional help from a banker, an accountant, a tax specialist and an attorney. They all said to bury it and move on. But I hung on. I refused to quit. I explored all options and they all stunk, but I hung on anyway. I dug the hole deeper and deeper trying to save my dream. Finally, hanging on paid off. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a train.

Then I realized what this idea of options really meant. I began to understand that one of my options was to say no to this business that I hadn’t enjoyed in a long time, that had become the source of personal financial devastation, in order to say yes to my true calling to become a full-time professional speaker. I quit one thing in order to start something else.

Sound like a rationalization? There was no way to achieve balance by hanging on. My goal to save the telecommunications company was in direct conflict with my goals for family, career and financial success. Therefore, I chose the option to bring balance into my life and set myself free to be the best version of me I could possibly be, using my talents to the good of the most people.

I didn’t quit, I started. I started bringing healing to myself emotionally, intellectually and physically. I started bringing healing to my finances which benefited my creditors and my family. I started bringing healing to others by sharing with them what I had learned as a result of the experience. I didn’t lose, I won.

When is it time to quit? When all of your efforts don’t move you any closer to resolution. Then it’s time to quit. Don’t use this line of thinking as an opportunity to give up. This means you have explored all of your options and have taken action on them. It means that you have asked trusted, qualified people for their help and professional advice. It means you have wholeheartedly given it your best. It means you have given it time to work.

If you’ve done these things to the best of your abilities, and no progress is being made, then quit. You aren’t giving up. It doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. It doesn’t mean that you are a quitter. It means you are smart. It means you have done your best, accepted the results, and moved on.

Stay for all you are worth. Always give it your best. Explore all options. Then give yourself permission to let go and move on.

This article originally ran in the 2001 STAFDA edition of Progressive Distributor. Copyright 2001.