by John Carroll

Some of the best sales training you’ll find is closer to home and much less expensive than you may think. If you have children, consider them the top sales professionals anywhere and watch how they work. If you don’t have children, watch a niece, nephew or neighbor’s child. They seem to understand how the world operates when it comes to getting what they want.

Children have a tremendous advantage in one sense. From the time they enter the world, they have to ask for virtually everything they need. Their earliest communications are cries of hunger and discomfort, which are sometimes taken as complaints but really are requests for help. Yes, their needs are often anticipated and filled before any request is made. As they grow and develop, however, they gain great insight into securing the agreement of significant others.

If my daughters were leading a sales training course, they could title it, “The 10 Ps to Success in Selling Mom and Dad.” Here’s how it might go:

1) Planning the sale. Knowing that he/she wants something, a child either goes ahead without permission or begins to plan the “sale.” In choosing the latter, planning includes knowing the child’s own strengths as well as understanding and using proper timing in the process.

For example, if our younger daughter wants to do something with a friend after school, knowing that homework comes first, she relies on the fact that she always completes her homework. Since Mom and Dad know this and a simple reminder from her will suffice, she can plan the sale based on past performance, a considerable strength working in her favor.

How is your planning? Do you consider strengths and weaknesses going into the selling process? Do you know exactly what you want from this prospect and this particular meeting? Is it a complex sale requiring more pre-work and good timing? If so, use planning to increase the odds that the results will go in your favor.

Our older daughter is now 13 and determined to attend a summer athletic camp in a different region of the country. She has spent countless hours researching online to know the many offerings available, both locally and elsewhere. She knows that camps similar to the one she wants are offered close to home, so she has been able to determine the differences, find the advantages and disadvantages of each and build a case for her first choice.

How much time and effort do you put into your preparation? Is it one of those things that could always be done better but time never seems to allow for it?

3) Prospect insight. Our daughters understand the customer very well. They could tell you what’s important to Mom that’s not particularly important to Dad and vice versa. As a result they know where to go and whom to ask first, depending on the situation. They also know our hot buttons and use that knowledge carefully and effectively.

How well do you know your prospects? Taking the time to understand his/her dislikes, as well as the decision-making authority of each person in a target or key account, can pay off handsomely in sales results and the elimination of wasted time. Why get to know someone thoroughly who has little or no power to make the final decision (or at least to help you get closer to it)?

4) Poise. When our daughters are using their best selling skills, they have the poise of Miss America. They’re confident, smiling and using their best manners. They are models of all that is good and pure in children. (Disclaimer: This is a temporary condition that is very goal-directed. They’re also human, which makes these particular times all the more pleasant.)

How would you rank your poise with customers and prospects? The little things, such as taking a seat in the prospect’s office only after an invitation, are noticed and appreciated. I like to send a thank you note for everything from the appointment for a first meeting to the opportunity to present a proposal. Carry yourself as if you’re in the finest restaurant dining with your most important professional contacts.

5) Positive expectations. Our daughters usually expect to get the sale. They understand that some requests will be granted more quickly and easily than others. It never seems to stop them from moving ahead and getting closer to what they want.

How are your expectations these days? Understand that your expectations play a significant role in your outcomes, both in selling and in life. When you expect good things to happen in your selling, you’re seldom disappointed, especially when you back those positive expectations with the rest of these principles.

6) Pleasant tone. When someone delivers a sweet, “Oh, Daddy, can we please make a fire in the fireplace and roast marshmallows tonight?” it’s difficult for me to resist. These girls also know how the results can differ when they demand something. When the request is important to them and they’re on top of their game, they ask nicely.

How is your tone with customers and prospects? Do you make it a pleasant task for someone to be interviewed by you? Are you a bright spot in your customer’s day? If not, consider the rest of that person’s existence, with its many frustrations, and adjust your approach so that he/she will look forward to your next meeting or conversation.

7) Presentation. Our daughters would tell you that the presentation is dependent upon the size of the sale. In other words, the bigger the sale, the more preparation and logic goes into the presentation. They will call a family meeting to present their case for a particular vacation choice or be ready to talk through the reasons for their favorite weekend activity over dinner. They will be clear and logical in their presentation and include one or two reasons why it’s in Mom’s or Dad’s best interest to decide in their favor. In other words, they’ve done the work beforehand and have it ready to use in their presentation.

In my opinion, presentation skills are overrated. The quality of the presentation itself comes from the work that precedes it. The better job you do earlier in the process, the easier it is to make a powerful presentation. Exhaustive research, effective questioning about the wants and needs of your prospect and thorough knowledge of how your product or service will meet those needs are critical to the success of your presentation (and your sale).

8) Petition. If there’s one thing our daughters know how to do, it is to ask. As with many children, they create a seemingly constant stream of asking if they can try one thing or start another. For them, asking is a way of life. They do it fearlessly.

Do you ask for the sale, for the advance, for the agreement on specific issues along the way to the sale? One of the tools I’ve used effectively is to imagine that our daughters are with me while I’m asking a prospect for his/her business. I always want to set the confident example of no fear for them, so I act in a way consistent with that objective. Since I want them never to fear anything, I approach each situation as if I have nothing to fear.

9) Patience. Of all the virtues generally associated with children, patience is listed low, if at all, among them. Our girls often lack patience in the timing of getting what they want. Yet, they seem to understand that certain things take time and they find a way to live with it. They often get the same response that many sales professionals hear: “I’ll let you know” or “Let me think about it.”

In these situations, their flexibility and ability to focus on the positive, maintaining positive expectations, often wins over any inclination to give up and go away. They patiently give us space and time to think things through and they come back, somehow at the appropriate time, to check status and get clarification on the critical issues behind the decision.

How do you score in the patience category? Do you allow your prospects the space and time to give a critical decision the emphasis it deserves? Losing your cool over a long-awaited decision gives your prospect cause to doubt your ability to deliver the promised solution. “Some will, some won’t, so what” is the proper attitude to carry into any decision on the prospect’s part. It’s nothing personal, so don’t take it that way. Be able to roll with the punches, take a deep breath and understand that this one may take some time. Get busy working on other priorities and stay in touch.

10) Persistence. Our daughters are models of persistence. They will ask and ask and ask again. It’s sometimes annoying to us as parents and gives the appearance of a lack of patience on their part. Yet, most of the time, it is quite inspiring to see them keep on trying to get the sale. In fact, they know how to ask without uttering a word, knowing that a certain look can, at times, be much more effective than any verbal request.

What’s your persistence factor? Do you stick with it by asking in several ways at several different stages throughout the process? Perhaps you’ve heard the selling advice, “ABC, always be closing.” I prefer ABA, always be asking. As sales professionals, we should always be asking great questions to uncover critical information, to get clarification on specific issues, to gain agreement along the way with the prospect, to get the sale and valuable referrals of new prospects. The mark of a top sales professional is her/his persistence in asking focused questions throughout the process, listening closely to the answers and sticking with a prospect until the result is clear.

By the way, when our daughters “get the sale,” they show their appreciation, usually with a big hug and thank you. That certainly rewards and reinforces our decision and paves the way for the next sale. Make the “attitude of gratitude” part of every selling day and you’ll find you have plenty for which to be thankful.