The trust factor

Three steps to uncovering the missing link to sales success

by Sam Christensen

By now we all know the cardinal rule of sales: clients only buy from salespeople they trust. Therefore, the greater the buyer’s trust, the sooner and more they buy. The question is, “How do you build a client/salesperson relationship that’s grounded in trust?”

While there are many factors that contribute to creating a trusting relationship, the most important element actually occurs way before the deal is on the table, before the sales process ever begins and likely before the client enters your office. That’s right. Before any client can fully trust you, your products or your services, you first must trust yourself.

When you trust yourself you do more than just believe in yourself and your values. It’s a self-acceptance that takes work to achieve. In essence, trusting yourself means having the confidence about the effect you have on others and on your own perceptions of who you are. When you are sure of the impressions you create and the impact you have, all the other trust issues between you and your clients will fall into place.

By trusting yourself and truly knowing who you are and what you offer to others, you can initiate a bond with clients that has nothing to do with the buying and selling at hand. In fact, when that human-to-human bond occurs, clients will not only trust you, but they’ll also buy from you every time and re-order without additional prodding.

Unfortunately, most salespeople have a different perception of who they are vs. what they display to others. While the disparity may not be extreme, it is enough to hinder the relationship building process. 

For example, a salesperson who by nature thoroughly explains benefits and features of a product may think of him or herself as being talkative. Why? Years ago a parent or teacher may have criticized the person for having a penchant for gab, and the child took the comment as a negative attribute. Now as an adult, the salesperson may go so far as to make a conscious effort to stop talking and cut the interaction short. What this salesperson may not realize, however, is that those on the outside regard this same character “flaw” as an asset and believe the salesperson is actually very articulate, knowledgeable, and detail-oriented. Because the salesperson doesn’t realize the difference in perceptions, he or she fails to capitalize on the outside perception and ultimately hinders the relationship building process.

The key to sales success is to get in tune with the perceptions others have of you and integrate that image with the self-image you currently possess. You can then develop a vocabulary about yourself that shows you know who you are and that you’re comfortable being yourself around others. When clients sense this high level of self-awareness, they’ll be attracted to you and will want to develop a profitable and mutually beneficial business relationship. Your agreement with and acceptance of the feelings the clients have about you is what begins the pattern of trust.

The discovery process to who you really are
When you put forth a public self-awareness of who you are, you pave the way for a trusting relationship between you and whomever you meet. Your publicly stated self-awareness relieves your clients of their discomfort with the fact that you may or may not know the image you’re portraying. 

For example, the “talkative” salesperson mentioned previously could put his or her clients at ease by saying upfront, “Sorry, but I never leave a stone unturned. I wouldn’t want to bore you, but I believe in this product so much that I sometimes tend to get overly detail-oriented.” 

This takes the burden of the relationship off the clients and lets them know that you are “onto yourself” and that your pitch is sincere and genuine. They will then feel more comfortable doing business with you.

If you’re uncertain whether your inner and outer perceptions match, the following guidelines will help you get them in alignment.

Uncover the perceptions others have of you
Listen carefully to how people refer to you. Look back into material from your past where you’ve been described such as annuals, yearbooks, greeting cards, job evaluations, personal letters, etc. Take note of descriptive words or phrases that reappear time and time again. Also, ask your family and friends to describe your personality and character traits. Be sure to document both the positive and seemingly negative things they reveal. To make this process more informative, keep it anonymous. Suggest to others that they not hand you their comments, but rather mail them in a self-addressed stamped envelope you provide. No one will be candid if they think you’ll review their remarks in their presence or that you’ll know precisely who said what.

Organize and analyze the descriptive material
Group all the information you gather together according to theme or category. You may choose to list positive and negative attributes separately, or you may decide to organize the information according to personality comments, attributes, characteristics, etc. 

Do whichever makes the information easier for you to digest. At this point it’s important not to react to the information’s compliment or lack of compliment. Rather, look for the general truth within the comments. 

For example, you may look through an old yearbook and find that one person referred to you as being outgoing. A few pages later, another person may have written that when they first met you, they thought you were pushy. While one comment sounds positive and the other negative, they both indicate that you are an assertive person. These are the kind of neutrally descriptive themes you want to uncover.

Integrate these newly discovered 
perceptions into your inner self-image
Find words and phrases that feel comfortable to you and that approximate the perceptions others have of you. A simple way to accomplish this is to use a thesaurus and find adjectives you would like to use to describe yourself. For example, if people tend to call you pushy, outgoing, or assertive and you don’t like any of those words, you may choose to describe yourself as in-your-face, don’t-miss-a-trick, or big-plans.

Each of these statements is comparable, as they all positively refer to someone who is actively striving toward the attainment of some goal. The greater vocabulary you have to accurately describe yourself in a way that acknowledges outside perceptions and honors your own inside perception, the more successful you’ll be.

Make your words matter
To make the most of this new self-knowledge, subtly use these descriptive words and phrases whenever you are referring to yourself. Your clients will then realize that you are self-aware, honest with yourself and others, direct and appreciative of the opinions others have of you. The trust between you and your clients will flow naturally from there.

So before you attempt to build a trusting relationship with a client by describing products, offering services, going over warranties, citing statistics or quoting prices, look at the image you are portraying to the outside world and determine how you can make the most of those perceptions. By first proving that you’re clear and honest about yourself, your clients will be certain that you’re truthful in every other aspect as well. You’ll soon discover this to be the missing link that enables you to create an atmosphere of trust more quickly and to reach new levels of sales success.

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