Don’t get too real

by Dave Anderson

From the time we begin to crawl, others begin to build boundaries around our lives: “Don’t go over there,” “Don’t touch that,” “You can’t do that!” and the like.

As we grow older, the message becomes more subtle, but continues nonetheless. We hear catch phrases like: “It must be nice,”  “Some folks get all the breaks,” and “That’s how the other half lives.” 

Is it any wonder by the time most people enter the workplace, they’ve become conditioned to believe that greatness is for someone else? Unfortunately, many leaders aren’t much help here. They use their experience to douse the dreams of others. 

Rather than stoke the flames of followers, they soak their flames with pessimism and “practical” advice designed to bring the dreamer down to earth with advice like: "Let me tell you why that won’t work,” or “That’s never going to happen in this place,” or the ubiquitous, “Get real!"

While sometimes it makes sense to give others the benefit of your experience, your intentions backfire when you shrink the thinking of the dreamers on your team in an effort to make them practical. Psychologists say that too much realism is cause for depression. I agree with them. 

Here are some suggested ways you help draw out the dreams of others, rather than bury them alive.

If what the person is saying is impractical, help them come to that conclusion on their own with a handful of questions:
• How would you implement that?
• How long would it take?
• Would the payoff be worth the price?
• What do you think the obstacles are?
• How would you overcome them?

If the idea does have merit, don’t get hung up by the fact that you don’t have all the answers. With strong enough passion, the how will come. Instead of stomping on the dream because every angle isn’t figured out, help the visionary devise a strategy to make it a reality.

Even if the first two or three ideas someone brings you may not be worth much, don’t dismiss them. If you do, you’ll never get the home run, because while your people will still bring their hands to work for a paycheck, they’ll leave their heads and hearts at the door.

Create an environment at work that says every idea is a good idea, until you find the best idea. Don’t fire-hose team members and punish those who actually think for themselves, even if their original thoughts aren’t feasible.

If you punish those who dream -- who dare to speak out and challenge the status quo -- you’ll breed a team of timid mice who contribute very little. On the other hand, if you encourage new ideas, you’ll help bring out the best your people have to offer.  

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